Indigos and Addiction

It would seem unnatural for indigo children to have problems with addiction. After all, these kids have high levels of integrity, intelligence and compassion, so why do so many struggle with substance abuse and other forms of self-harm? Because these kids are one giant, ultra-sensitive nerve-end that's why.

Imagine that all your senses are on hyper-alert all the time. You see more than most people, being aware of the world around you--the finer details. You might be so sensitive to odors that you can detect a whiff of perfume from 100' away and it drives you crazy. Your taste buds are so attuned that people call you a picky eater. You can't help it...it's just that some foods trigger intense reactions. Your skin is so sensitive that the slightest irritation from a clothing tag or sock seam makes you miserable, and tickling? People love to do that to you just to see your wild reaction. Hardest of all is dealing with the energy of others. You dislike crowds because they make you uncomfortable. You don't know why that is, and you might start off just fine when amongst so many folks, but very soon you start to feel an intense urge to find the nearest exit. You're so sensitive to the energies that other people emit--especially the negative ones--that you have to distance yourself or risk feeling worse. As a child, you have no idea what's wrong with you, you only know that you're hurting. Adults may label you 'difficult' or worse, 'unbalanced.' You begin to believe them and feel a sense of shame and maybe even self-loathing. You don't fit in. You're not like everyone else. How do you cope?

Well, some cope by de-sensitizing themselves with addictions. Whether it's drugs, alcohol, work, smoking, computer gaming or any number of other things, indigos will often try to shut off their sensitivity to fit in. They don't want to be different or to look inward. They're afraid of what they'll find. Society has already told them that they're strange. Parents have usually taken them to several counselors or therapists trying to figure out what's wrong with their child. Teachers and guidance counselors can become irritated with this child who "is intelligent but not living up to his/her potential, goofing off in class and refusing to do the work." Tragically, the child often retreats into addiction.

Getting help for an indigo trapped in addiction is imperative, but a parent has to be careful. For a child who may have already been subjected to several doctors and therapists, suggesting yet another may trigger real anger. I've been there. The parent must be very compassionate and separate the child from the addiction, the behavior. There is nothing wrong with the child. The problem is the addiction and the reason behind it. And let me tell you, finding a therapist or program that is actually open to the idea of your child being an indigo and knowing how to treat your child with that in mind is impossible. I have yet to see or find a program for these kids/adults struggling to fit in when they were born to do just the opposite. They don't exist....yet. One of my sons was simply labelled 'lazy' and 'manipulative.' Oh that really helped a lot. So what do you do if you can't find anyone that understands or is even willing to try? Parent, advocate, and educate thyself.

Read, read, read and read some more. Research as much as you can about indigos and addiction. There is information out there on the internet. Look for it. I sat in on many sessions with my son and the program-assigned counselor he had. I spoke up and spoke out, and made sure that my voice was heard. Question! Don't take anything said at face value...rock the boat if necessary. I encouraged my son to be himself and to speak his mind and his feelings and not to take any guff from anyone.

Most of all I encouraged him to love himself exactly as he was, addicted or not. That's a tall order for anyone, but it's imperative because if one can't love self, then change will not occur. Self love is the first step, and parents must do everything in their power to show their children compassion and unconditional love. Punishment and judgment will only make the situation worse and further depress a child who already feels like a disappointment and a failure. Make sure the rest of the family is on board and don't tolerate anything less than full support from all. And parent, step out of your comfort zone. Accept your child for his/her uniqueness, and don't compare them to the neighbor's perfect child or the kid in school who gets straight A's every report card. It's unfair and very damaging.

I honestly believe that as a society we must stop comparison and conformity. Each person, each soul, has a a path to take...a destiny all their own. Parents must not only support their children but celebrate them, and they must, must advocate for them in the education system. Teach your children to love and accept themselves exactly as they are, right here, right now. I believe it's the key to prevention.

We have a long way to go in a world where we're placed under a microscope and told what's acceptable and what's not. It takes courage to stop and say "wait a minute, not so fast. I don't buy it." It starts at home....with us....the parents. I didn't know my sons were indigos for a very long time, but nevertheless I should have found the courage to stand up to authority figures and the school system earlier. It would've saved my sons, my husband and I unnecessary heartache. Still, things happen for a reason. Help arrives and healing occurs. That's where we are right now. I am proud to say my son is addiction-free. It's taken time and a lot of work, but the light at the end of the tunnel is bright...and getting brighter.


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