Endings and Beginnings
I recently experienced the end of a long-standing friendship. It came about quite suddenly, but I felt the shift in the relationship for a few months prior, and I knew intuitively that it would end as it did. While it was a bit unsettling, I know that this was meant to be, and I accept it.
My friend has had a difficult life. Family tragedies, struggle and escalating health problems had brought her to a crossroads, and I witnessed her increasing frustration and anger with the world...with the hand she was dealt. I understood her fear and supported her, listening for hours sometimes as she poured out her heart. I offered advice and a shoulder to cry on...willingly. She did the same for me in years past. She was my friend, and I wanted to help. That's what friends do.
Eventually I realized that I could not heal her or her situation. I couldn't change anything. Any shift in her circumstances would have to be initiated by her, and I had to give her the dignity of realizing that for herself, of being responsible for her own life. It was a choice made in compassion and the knowing that all change comes from within, not without. I have travelled that road myself....the path of self-love and self-realization. It was difficult to be accused of not caring, to be called a disappointment because I didn't respond to social media drama when, in fact, I cared very much. I cared enough about her to not respond in kind, contributing to the negativity, and I cared enough about myself to bow out and not participate in a situation that would have put pressure on me to justify my actions....something I don't have to do.
My friend is a good person, a beautiful soul. A giver by nature, she has a need for balance, to receive in kind. When she is able to do that, to give to herself what she finds so easy to give to others, I feel the tide will turn and her life will change in wondrous ways. But it is her choice to make that change, not mine, and I have decided to hold her in light and compassion from a distance now, as that is what's best for me.
Soul mates come and sometimes go in our lives...not all are here for the duration. At this time in our spiritual evolution, relationships are shifting...sometimes quite dramatically. Marriages, friendships, work relationships--all are changing. Our family dynamics are not exempt. Many people are discovering that they just don't seem to fit into the old relationships anymore. The changes are unsettling and can bring sadness...even grief. It may feel like you're leaving others behind as you move forward on your own journey. You aren't....not really. Everyone travels at their own pace, but we all have the same destination. Relax in the knowing that love is the glue that binds you to everyone, whether they are in your life or not. Separation does not exist. Honor yourself with healthy relationships that contribute to your happiness and bless those that have served their time in this space. All are valuable, and endings are always followed by new beginnings.
Perhaps my old friend and I will re-connect at a later time, but even if that doesn't happen I am still able to be grateful for her friendship and support of 15 years. I wish her joy.